


Liberace's Grave

by compo67



Series: The Chicago Verse [142]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Banter, Bickering, Codependency, Codependent Winchesters (Supernatural), Commitment, Committed Relationship, Curtain Fic, Dialogue-Only, Domestic Bliss, Domestic Fluff, Established Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Growing Old Together, Grumpy Dean Winchester, Grumpy Old Men, Healing, Healthy Relationships, Incest, M/M, Old Married Couple, Protective Siblings, Psychic Abilities, Psychic Bond, Sassy Sam Winchester, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:07:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28014411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/compo67/pseuds/compo67
Summary: Dialogue fic. Sam and Dean venture out. While they're in the car, they talk, laugh, and ponder. Featuring a spoiled chocolate zucchini muffin, Liberace, and Al Gore.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Series: The Chicago Verse [142]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/46578
Comments: 25
Kudos: 151





	Liberace's Grave

“Sam, I swear on Liberace’s grave, if you spill your hippy-dippy smoothie on Baby’s seats, I will end you.”

“...Liberace’s grave?”

“Did you know he was a jerk? I mean, you wear that many capes, maybe you’re bound to be a douchebag. Look at Elvis.”

“Uhm. I missed something. _What_?”

“People who wear capes. They’re assholes.”

“Didn’t you used to worship Elvis?”

“When you get to be my age, Sam, you’ll understand.”

“You make no sense. No sense at all.”

“Just don’t spill that slop.”

“It’s _not_ slop. It tastes good.”

“Whatever you need to tell yourself, babe.”

“I never understand how you manage to be insulting and affectionate in the same sentence.”

“It’s a gift.”

“Where are we going this early, again?”

“Wrestling match.”

“At eight in the morning?”

“I wanna get good seats.”

“Where are we _really_ going?”

“If you’re that concerned, don’t you think it’s a little late to be asking? You’re already in the car and I already stopped at Jimbo Juice.”

“It’s not Jimbo Juice, it’s _Jamba_ Juice.”

“Same difference.”

“So was I wrong to implicitly trust you when you said, ‘Get in the car, we’re going for a ride’?” 

“I’m saying it’s a nice change of pace for you to just roll with it instead of being all _Sam_ about it.”

“How am I all ‘Sam’ about something? Wait. Do I even want to know?”

“Overthinking something for ten years after it dies, overanalyzing something until you’ve stripped away every shred of spontaneity, asking a minimum of one hundred questions before, during, and after… should I go on?”

“Oh, you mean being a decent, rational person. Gotcha.”

“You know, Sam, sometimes you just need to turn off that big brain and quit acting like a lawyer.”

“Well, if I did want to do that, how convenient that _you’re_ an expert in going through life with the lights off upstairs.”

“Watch your mouth.”

“If I overthink, it’s because _you_ underthink.”

“Hey, some shit does not call for Einstein. Sometimes you gotta pivot and think like Shemp.”

“Ah, yes, there it is: a ‘Stooges’ reference.”

“What are you eating?”

“What’s it to you?”

“Well, I might want a piece.”

“Mm, no. You don’t want this.”

“How can I know unless you tell me?”

“Can you please keep your eyes on the road? I’ve only been saying that since we were kids.”

“Scratch out the word ‘saying’ and replace it with ‘nagging.’ What is it?”

“It’s a chocolate zucchini muffin, Dean.”

“Huh. You know, I found a recipe for something like that not too long ago.”

“And you haven’t made it for me, why?”

“Because fuck you.”

“Keeping it classy this morning, I see. This muffin… I think it smells weird. But. I’m not sure how to describe it. Can you smell this?”

“Don’t—and he’s shoving it into my face as I’m driving. _Sam_!”

_“Sorry!”_

“That… I… I don’t know where to start with you!”

“Well, did you smell it or not?”

“That’s what you’re worried about the most, huh? For fuck’s sake, Professor. Damn. Yes, I smelled it. It smells like someone defrosted it under a radiator. Don’t eat that shit.”

“Damn. That cost me five bucks.”

“Sammy, you’ve always made questionable choices when it comes to spending your money. This one, I gotta say, kinda underwhelming.”

“I make sound financial decisions, thank you.”

“Oh yeah? What about that microscope set?”

“I was six!”

“Yeah, and you picked that over the better, cheaper Batman action figure.”

“Whatever, I’ve always hated dolls.”

“Action. Figure.”

“Batman doll, Dean. Call it what it is.”

“I’m not gonna sit here and allow you to cheapen the spirit of the late Adam West. It was an action figure and it ruled.”

“Fine, keep your fragile masculinity.”

“Thanks, Professor. So you bought yourself an overpriced, spoiled-ass muffin, but you didn’t buy _me_ anything? I see how it is.”

“You ate breakfast before we left. You’re hardly wasting away.”

“I had a bagel and that was like, eight hours ago.”

“You had a bagel with turkey and cheese and a cup of coffee thirty minutes ago.”

“Thanks, Surveillance State.”

“ _OH._ Wait. You think I _want_ to know every single thing you do, say, or think? Well, Dean, I’m here to tell you that _no_ , I do _not_ want to know every single thing.”

“Uh, yeah you do, you _know_ you do, and you should be freaking grateful.”

“I’ve never wanted to know the lyrics to so many Adam Sandler songs.”

“He used to be so talented.”

“Yeah, real tour de force, that one.”

“And you? You drool over every single Colin Firth movie in existence.”

“ _Mamma Mia_ is a perfectly legitimate movie.”

“Meryl carries it.”

“Excuse me, I apologize if I’ve offended your soulmate Meryl Streep.”

“Thank you. We’re very happy together.”

“Dean.”

“Yeah, Sammy.”

“No one makes me laugh like you do.”

“They better not.”

“Even when I’m laughing in anger.”

“That’s such a Sam thing to do—laugh in anger.”

“I guess it is kinda on-brand.”

“You know, I wonder how many of us are out there."

"How many of us in what way?"

"You know."

"I can actually read your mind—that is a thing I can do—and I am still lost."

"Ugh, you know!"

"Your hand gesture means nothing to me. … Nope. … Not even that one."

"You're forcing me to say it out loud and I hate it."

"Call it ‘character development.’"

"At least try not to look so god damn smug."

"It's the dimples."

"I'm about to toss your sorry ass out of here."

"Please. Everyone knows Dean Winchester worships the ground Sam Winchester walks on."

"When has _anyone_ ever said that?"

"Like it's not true?"

"Hey, I may be a codependent bastard, but you're just as deranged as I am."

"The reactions I have towards people who attempt to harm you are entirely reasonable."

"You'd burn the whole world down."

"So? Wouldn't you? … _Didn’t_ you?"

"It's like I said. You don't need Einstein to figure out some shit."

"No, I guess you're right about that one."

"I wonder if there's anyone out there that grew up like we did and turned out like we did."

"You mean together."

"Well. Yeah. _Together_."

"Like, married."

"Yeah."

"Like us?"

"... we aren't legally married, Sam."

"So, like, us."

"What? Don't you figure it's possible?"

"It's like an incestuous Fermi paradox."

"Never mind."

"No, no, it's—Hmm. Guess I haven't wondered."

"I'm changing the subject."

"Does it bother you that we aren't legally married?"

"No, not really. Never was the marrying type."

"Ah, Mr. Romantic."

"It's paper. Just a piece of paper. It doesn't guarantee you'll do the dishes or I'll remember to take out the trash. It's just a formality. We got our own contract." 

"In blood."

"See? You're on the same page of crazy as I am."

"I think it used to bother me that we didn't have that piece of paper."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. When I was a kid, I had this vague idea of what my wedding would be like. Typical kid stuff. I guess I just thought… That's what you do when you grow up. You fall in love, you get married. Tux. Church. Cake."

“Rings?”

“I didn’t think too much about rings, actually. Not until you got me one.”

“Went to damn near every jewelry shop in the state to find ‘em.”

“I’m glad you did.”

"I never thought about that stuff as a kid."

"Dean.”

“Hmm?”

“You look good today.”

“I look good every day.”

“Don’t push it.”

“Thank you, Sam.”

“You should wear green more often. Brings out your eyes.”

“You don’t think my mug is all grizzled and messed up?”

“Not at all.”

“That’s good.”

“You had to grow up too fast."

"Well. I don't know what that has to do with it."

"It's possible to be raised by the same parent and still be raised differently. I think about that a lot."

“Yeah? Well, I was raised by dad. You? All me.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Yuh-huh. When you think about it, do _you_ actually feel like you were ‘raised by Dad?’”

“Hmm.”

“Yup.”

“Fine. Then it’s possible to be raised _in the same family_ and still be raised differently.”

"Of course it is. We're different people."

"That's so… observant of you, Dean."

"I'm never saying it again, so savor it. Now. Back to my question."

"Hmm. I imagine there are others. I don't see how there couldn't be. This—hunting was our gateway into it."

“I just don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone else like us.”

“If there were others, they’d have reached out to us—don’t you think?”

“Not necessarily. Would _you_ reach out to _them?_ ”

“Damn. Touché.”

"You think Hunting will ever be, what's the word—mainstream?"

"Like, common?"

"Yeah. Common. Like teenagers will make TikTok videos with werewolves kind of common."

"I don't wanna know how you know about TikTok."

"You're missing out, Sammy."

"Do you _seriously_ have a TikTok account?"

"Mind your business and quit dodging the question."

" _No_ , I don't think it'll ever be common. If it's public knowledge, that means hunters are overwhelmed."

"Huh. That's a good point."

"Are you driving us to IKEA? After I specifically told you not to?"

"A man has a right to visit the only store in the tri-county area that sells candles that will fit my candelabra."

"I think it's cute that you bought that thing."

"Candelabras are not a joke, Sam."

"Forgive me. But really. Where are we going? It better not be Medieval Times."

"The only people who don't like Medieval Times are angry loners and lawyers."

“You feel the need to pay an absurd amount of money just to eat terrible food with your fingers and watch a fake jousting match?”

“It’s an _experience_.”

“Do you think we spend too much time together?”

“Who else would I spend time with?”

“ _Ha!_ —that was my first thought, too.”

“Sometimes you do your teaching-schtick and I work my gigs, and I feel like, ‘Damn, I hardly saw Sam today.’”

“I scaled back my hours.”

“I know. Thank you.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think we spend too much time together?”

"No. Once I heard a hunter say, 'If you look up codependency in the dictionary, there's a picture of Sam and Dean.'"

"Hope it's a picture of my fantastic ass.”

"Yeah, your ass and my eye roll."

"I don't give a fuck what hunters say. Or civvies. Or anyone else, for that matter. Fuck ‘em."

"Sometimes, I just wanna reach over and kiss you."

"Yeah? What stops you?"

"You driving for the past hour, on I-90, at 90 miles an hour."

"I'll pull over."

"No!"

"Then lay one on me, sweetheart."

"You're ridiculous."

"And you're still here."

"True. I should reevaluate my life choices."

"Nah."

"If I kiss you, will you tell me where we're going?"

"Ehh, maybe. Depends on the kiss."

"Or maybe, it’s not about the destination. It’s about the journey.”

“Don’t make me barf in my own car.”

“Well, we passed IKEA and Medieval Times.”

“We’re going to a breakfast place.”

“We had breakfast.”

“You call your hippy-dippy smoothie and a bite of that sorry-ass muffin breakfast? Fuck that.”

“It’s a protein shake, dammit. And you had a whole ass bagel.”

“That was, now, ninety minutes ago, Señor Surveillance.”

“Fine, but you’re laying off the bacon for Second Breakfast.”

“I get all tingly when you take control like that. Besides, you’ll like this place.”

“Oh?”

“It’s got a hundred year old tree growing inside it, straight through the roof.”

“Huh. Interesting.”

“And beignets.”

“Hmm.”

“Then we’re going to this thing I found in the paper. Something about climate change.”

“Do you mean ‘Unequal Impact: The Deep Links Between Racism and Climate Change?’ _That_ thing?”

“Yup. Let me tell you—you owe me big time.”

“Dean! The lecture has been sold out for months!”

“Ow! Why’d you punch me in the arm?!”

“I’m so excited!”

“You nerd.”

“Oh my god, I have to email Jocelyn. She’s gonna freak out.”

“Don’t forget to email your BFF Al Gore.”

“Hah, I wish. Holy shit. You didn’t blackmail anyone to get these tickets, did you?”

“‘Blackmail’ is such an ugly word.”

“Dean.”

“Look, I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy.”

“You and your ‘connections.’”

“Hey, me and my connections can give the tickets to some other nerds.”

“No!”

“That’s what I thought.”

“I need to pull up the flyer. I cannot believe this. And I didn’t bring my notes.”

“I chucked your briefcase in the trunk before we left.”

“You did?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“What are you angling for? I’m still not letting you put a fire pit in the backyard.”

“Oh-ho! That’s a discussion between me and the city, not me and you.”

“Don’t harass the city!”

“‘Harass’ is such a strong word.”

“Dean. Pony up. What do you want?”

“Nothing! Can’t a guy in love do something nice for his best-beloved once in a while without getting the third degree?”

“Not _this_ guy.”

“But I’m in wuv, twooo wuuv.”

“Don’t you dare go _Princess Bride_ on me.”

“You’re smiling. I’m off the hook.”

“I’ve wanted to go to this lecture since forever.”

“Good. My connections said there’ll be some goons there.”

“Goons?”

“Secret Service.”

“No. Way.”

“Yep.”

“I AM GOING TO MEET AL GORE.”

“Don’t shout! God _damn!_ ”

“I’m in jeans! I need a suit!”

“Al Gore ain’t gonna care, you giant nerd. That’s what BFFs are for.”

“ _I’ll_ care! We gotta stop somewhere.”

“I packed your freaking blue suit. Jesus. I knew you’d flip.”

“I’m gonna call Kevin.”

“He’s probably asleep.”

“Oh. Shit. You’re right.”

“So am I the best or am I the best?”

“You’re the best, Dean.”

“Ahh, just what a man needs: time to bask.”

“Unless there’s an ulterior motive here.”

“Nope.”

“Hmm.”

“I mean.”

“Here we go.”

“We have an appointment with Med School next week.”

“Aaron?”

“Yup.”

“Oh.”

“Sam. We’re going.”

“... I’m fine.”

“You promised.”

“I hate MRIs.”

“There’s that dirty diaper look.”

“Ugh.”

“You were so full of life two minutes ago, geeking out over meeting the guy who invented the internet.”

“He did not invent the internet. Why didn’t he call me?”

“He’s Al Gore, he’s a busy man.”

“That’s not who I—”

“Med School didn’t call me. _I_ called _him_.”

“Great.”

“Hey, I just wanna get this over with. Sooner we do it, sooner we can bury it.”

“ _We_? I’m the one who has to be in the damn machine, Dean.”

“Not this time. _Ha!_ Talk about codependent.”

“What?”

“I figure they might as well take a look at my grapefruit while we’re digging around in yours.”

“Huh.”

“And I want you to meet The Small One next week at the Folkloric concert.”

“She’s adorable.”

“Yeah, but there’s a _reason_.”

“Okay. When?”

“Concert Tuesday. MRIs Wednesday.”

“All right.”

“Okey-dokey then.”

“Dean?”

“Sam.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I’ll blow you after I meet Al Gore.”

“Fuck, _yes_.”

**Author's Note:**

> oh-ho! 2,500 words of banter?! don't mind if i do! XD
> 
> i hope that their back and forth is easy to keep up with. i know i catch myself going "sam, dean, sam dean." i meant for this to be a short one, but these two took over and here we are. big thanks to beta K who added gems throughout the way--you're a doll and i'm so grateful. i have 5,000 more words for TCV on the way next week and i'm hoping to do a christmas fic with christmas art like last year. do you have xmas fic suggestions or ideas? leave a comment here or drop an ask at compo67.tumblr.com. i'm also opening up Ask Dean on Tumblr, so either way--head on over there!
> 
> thank you, y'all for being here. i'm slowly going through and editing TCV. i just finished rereading it (took a whole week!) and i'm so proud of this verse. i've also gone back and reread your comments. please know i appreciate your comments so very much. i'm going through more health stuff and struggling with mental health stuff, so i'm just... happy to be here and happy to have you. <3


End file.
